So when the time rolled around, I went to the depot to pick him up; for undoubtedly, this is the any mean for him to be reaching our house.
It was not such a long drive back home. We had made minute-long converses simply exchanging pleasantries; asking each other how ten long years had gone to fly so fast. And alas, we arrived. I parked the car, got out from it and opened the other side for him. Seeing him managed to get out from the car carrying his suitcases, a repressed thought emerged from my unconscious state of mind. But I didn't quite entertained the thought, I didn't feel the need of entertaining a single of it. And so I shut the door, moved him with me down the drive and up to the steps, to the front porch then to the door. And there was my husband, Lucas, waiting. I introduced Robert to my husband and likewise, he introduced himself to him.
Heading towards the sofa, we had made little chats and in between these small talks, I began to notice Lucas' strange actions. He was being rude, and it was evident. Asking which side of the train where a blind man would sit is certainly being rude. What a question which side! I mean would it matter which side? Would it concern a blind which side he'd be sitting on the train? He definitely needs to be reprimanded, well maybe later.
When we sat down at the table for dinner, we had another drink. I heaped Robert's plate with cube steak, scalloped potatoes and green beans as my husband buttered him up two slices of bread. We dug in. Ate everything that was to eat on the table. We ate like there was no tomorrow, we didn't talk. We ate, scar fed. We grazed the table. We were into a serious eating. We finished everything, including half a strawberry pie. For a few moments, we sat as if stunned, sweat beaded on our faces. Finally, we got up from the table and left the dirty plates. We didn't look back.
We took ourselves into the living room and I settled myself, so did Robert, on the sofa. We had ourselves three more drinks while talking about the major things that had come to pass for the past ten years. My husband made efforts to join in our conversation, as if prepared to answer any of Robert's queries that concern him. But unluckily, we were too engrossed to talk among ourselves and never bothered to include him in our dialogue. I guess that left him pissed-off and so he then decided to interrupt us by turning on the television. From the moment the TV come to life, irritation filled me. It made me uncomfortable, leaving my head boiling. Why on Earth would he turn on the TV when we were actually in the brink of serious talking? And for goodness' sake, we were with a blind man! He wouldn't appreciate the thought, of course, he would not. Strike 2: first, he asked for his position in the train and now, turning on the TV. One more strike and he'll surely be off the hook.
So to lighten the tension that was gradually increasing between me and my husband, I decided to leave them first and change my worn-out jeans and shirt. As i reached the room, I began to think of those thoughts that continues to trouble me as I caught sight again of Robert. Seeing how he tries to act as normal as possible reminded me of those days when I was in his shoes'; when I too was deprived with a sense of sight. I know how it is to be blind like him. It was difficult, very difficult. Seing everything in shades of black, forever wondering how blue the sky is and how green the leaves are. The thought of it alone send shivers to my optic nerves, leaving my eyes with salty tears. I would never want to be in that same situation ever again, and as much as I would not want to be in that same experience, seeing Robert struggle relives those moments.
My long, long buried past justifies my being so-concern towards people like Robert. Well, that is the least that I could do; show sympathy and feeling for them. It takes away the guilt, and thus, helps me move out from the shadow of my past, form the past that for so long has haunted me. But then, running away from a dark past would never end it, facing it though would certainly do. And yes, I will face it, face it this time for the truth would surely find its way out to be known. Not only that but to continuously lie to the man I love is one thing that I could not afford to do. We vowed to be with each other 'til death but how could he be with me all through out when even telling him a secret I could not do? This can't be, he has to know. Who knows, this might enlighten him and so he would understand why I am being so overly good towards Robert. So for now, I have to leave Lucas first with his prejudices, but I too would make sure that Robert's comfort would not be at stake.They are both my significant others, especially Lucas, he is my other half. So it is just but proper that I'll confess to him everything, and I would in due time.
And after such a long self-reflection, I decided to join them in their cannabis' session, I could smell it. I sat on the sofa, between them, took it and tossed, yawned then drown myself to sleep. I had trouble staying asleep cause things don't seem right as I was sleeping, Robert and Lucas spending the time together? So I woke from the nap, and there I saw the two of them working on something. I gave them an anguish look as if saying that they need to tell me what they were up to. But they did not say anything, they simply stared blankly. What i remembered though was Robert mentioning about a Cathedral or something like it!
It was not such a long drive back home. We had made minute-long converses simply exchanging pleasantries; asking each other how ten long years had gone to fly so fast. And alas, we arrived. I parked the car, got out from it and opened the other side for him. Seeing him managed to get out from the car carrying his suitcases, a repressed thought emerged from my unconscious state of mind. But I didn't quite entertained the thought, I didn't feel the need of entertaining a single of it. And so I shut the door, moved him with me down the drive and up to the steps, to the front porch then to the door. And there was my husband, Lucas, waiting. I introduced Robert to my husband and likewise, he introduced himself to him.
Heading towards the sofa, we had made little chats and in between these small talks, I began to notice Lucas' strange actions. He was being rude, and it was evident. Asking which side of the train where a blind man would sit is certainly being rude. What a question which side! I mean would it matter which side? Would it concern a blind which side he'd be sitting on the train? He definitely needs to be reprimanded, well maybe later.
When we sat down at the table for dinner, we had another drink. I heaped Robert's plate with cube steak, scalloped potatoes and green beans as my husband buttered him up two slices of bread. We dug in. Ate everything that was to eat on the table. We ate like there was no tomorrow, we didn't talk. We ate, scar fed. We grazed the table. We were into a serious eating. We finished everything, including half a strawberry pie. For a few moments, we sat as if stunned, sweat beaded on our faces. Finally, we got up from the table and left the dirty plates. We didn't look back.
We took ourselves into the living room and I settled myself, so did Robert, on the sofa. We had ourselves three more drinks while talking about the major things that had come to pass for the past ten years. My husband made efforts to join in our conversation, as if prepared to answer any of Robert's queries that concern him. But unluckily, we were too engrossed to talk among ourselves and never bothered to include him in our dialogue. I guess that left him pissed-off and so he then decided to interrupt us by turning on the television. From the moment the TV come to life, irritation filled me. It made me uncomfortable, leaving my head boiling. Why on Earth would he turn on the TV when we were actually in the brink of serious talking? And for goodness' sake, we were with a blind man! He wouldn't appreciate the thought, of course, he would not. Strike 2: first, he asked for his position in the train and now, turning on the TV. One more strike and he'll surely be off the hook.
So to lighten the tension that was gradually increasing between me and my husband, I decided to leave them first and change my worn-out jeans and shirt. As i reached the room, I began to think of those thoughts that continues to trouble me as I caught sight again of Robert. Seeing how he tries to act as normal as possible reminded me of those days when I was in his shoes'; when I too was deprived with a sense of sight. I know how it is to be blind like him. It was difficult, very difficult. Seing everything in shades of black, forever wondering how blue the sky is and how green the leaves are. The thought of it alone send shivers to my optic nerves, leaving my eyes with salty tears. I would never want to be in that same situation ever again, and as much as I would not want to be in that same experience, seeing Robert struggle relives those moments.
My long, long buried past justifies my being so-concern towards people like Robert. Well, that is the least that I could do; show sympathy and feeling for them. It takes away the guilt, and thus, helps me move out from the shadow of my past, form the past that for so long has haunted me. But then, running away from a dark past would never end it, facing it though would certainly do. And yes, I will face it, face it this time for the truth would surely find its way out to be known. Not only that but to continuously lie to the man I love is one thing that I could not afford to do. We vowed to be with each other 'til death but how could he be with me all through out when even telling him a secret I could not do? This can't be, he has to know. Who knows, this might enlighten him and so he would understand why I am being so overly good towards Robert. So for now, I have to leave Lucas first with his prejudices, but I too would make sure that Robert's comfort would not be at stake.They are both my significant others, especially Lucas, he is my other half. So it is just but proper that I'll confess to him everything, and I would in due time.
And after such a long self-reflection, I decided to join them in their cannabis' session, I could smell it. I sat on the sofa, between them, took it and tossed, yawned then drown myself to sleep. I had trouble staying asleep cause things don't seem right as I was sleeping, Robert and Lucas spending the time together? So I woke from the nap, and there I saw the two of them working on something. I gave them an anguish look as if saying that they need to tell me what they were up to. But they did not say anything, they simply stared blankly. What i remembered though was Robert mentioning about a Cathedral or something like it!
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